I am 23 years old, I’ve completed my degree in Science, luckily, I was able to find a job right after graduation.
Like any other girl who recently graduates from college, potential husbands started approaching the family for a marriage proposal and one day, Mr. Right proposed. He was neither a relative nor a family friend, he is a handsome, well-educated guy who came from a good family. I fell in love at first sight and my family approved the proposal. In a few months we announced the engagement, and it was such a wonderful engagement ceremony attended by all family and friends.
Few weeks after our engagement… I started to realize some issues with his personality, my fiance acted very jealous in most situations, at the beginning I liked it and considered it out of love. I was so excited and felt that he cares a lot about me, but as time passed his jealousy was even noticed by my family. He would stop me from going to family gatherings especially if my male cousins were around, I can’t go out without taking a permission from him, if he called and I am late or out alone or even with my family, he would be very upset and sometimes exaggerates with his reaction (like shouting at me).
One day we had a big fight about the same issue, but he escalated it to my father and he was complaining in a way that was very offensive to my father, this made him extremely upset and he told him “if you think so about my daughter, it is over!”
I was sad and upset …I started crying and begged my father that to reconsider his decision, but my mother told me, that if he really loves and cares for you, he will do the impossible to have you back.
Apparently, it seems like they are right, but I love him and he tried several times to contact me to apologize and he is ready for any commitment so that my family can forgive him. For me, I wish to have him back. Please help!
Love,
Randa,
My dear Randa,
Being in love is a wonderful feeling and we all need to be loved and to love, but this love should come in full package, love means respect, trust, friendship and many other principles that you cannot divide it into parts if you want to have a healthy relationship.
At the beginning of any relationship, each one is trying to show his best side, special treatment, sweet words, gifts… etc. but also the engagement period is to test your feelings, how far you will be able to handle the new person with whom you might have to spend the rest of your life with. Meanwhile, you are still surrounded by your circle, the family and those people who genuinely love you, they are watching from the outside, they will advise you if they notice something that would affect your happiness.
It seems that your fiancé needs to learn how to respect you and your family. If you still live with your family, he has no control over you and he must respect the man who raised you, your father.
Your parents want the best for you, they want you to feel that you are well prepared to live your future, and want to make sure that once you are with someone, you are the one who will cherish and love you… it is not easy for them to see you suffer later…
Give yourself and your family sometimes, think about it deeply and wisely and see if you can adjust yourself with his personality. After that, whatever your decision is, sit and talk to your parents and explain your decision.
Good Luck.